Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Opinion Piece: Much ado about weddings, what about the relationship?

We are not without a fair share of wedding shows on television, from Say Yes To the Dress, Platinum Weddings to the over the top Bridezilla's. And while almost all of these shows claim to be "reality tv" (which we know is sometimes scripted and edited to alter how things really transpire...but that's another topic for another blog). 

A wedding is a celebration of love and a public acknowledgment of the commitment of two people to spend the rest of their lives together.  Yes, planning a wedding, even a small wedding takes a lot of work.  I think the advantage in some ways that gay and lesbian couples have over straight couples is that because our unions are not federally recognized and only a handful of states allow gay marriage, we don't take marriage as a given.  Now, this is not to say that straight couples don't value marriage at all, there are plenty of heterosexual couples in long, happy relationships. But with the divorce rates, shows like the Bachelor and 72-hour celebrity weddings, marriage for some is as disposable as a paper cup.

Depending on where you live, if you are gay no matter how much you love your partner, you can not marry them. In my personal opinion these sham marriages is an insult to those of us who truly desire to be married but can't because of our sexual orientation.  But I digress, this post isn't about ridiculous beliefs of others that are upheld as law...smh...this about not letting wedding planning cloud you to what really matters...marriage.

So to all couples planning a wedding, don't forget about each other.  The best advice I've heard is not to treat your partner like you've already "got" him or her, that makes things safe and sometimes boring.  Keep the pursuit alive, the passion.  Yes, a wedding should a wonderful affair. And planning, while intense should be enjoyable but don't get so swept away with table tents, wedding favors and wedding party gifts that you forget the reason why you are doing all this in the first place.

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