Monday, November 8, 2010

Is Virginia for ALL Lovers?

While doing some research on wedding venues, I noticed that I was looking only at DC and MD as potential locations.  The thought of having a ceremony and reception in Virginia made me cringe.Why? Especially since I live in Virginia would I be so opposed to celebrating my union here?

While there are many things I love about this state, there are certainly a few things that give me cause to pause.  Let me explain, I live in Northern Virginia and I have found that the differences between those who reside in the North and our Southern counterparts are many.  But, with respect to this blog, let's get straight to the point...I'm talking about marriage equality; well, just equality, period.

In the DMV, it seems that DC and Maryland have made some progress on marriage equality. But in Virginia, the issue is still taboo.  In Virginia, one can be fired for being gay.  In Virginia gays or lesbians are not allowed to adopt.  In 2006, Virginia passed a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex couples from marrying.  In Virginia, we have domestic violence laws that specifically EXCLUDE same-sex partners and hate crime laws that also EXCLUDE sexual orientation or gender identity. 

Could I be opposed to having my ceremony in Virginia because the laws have made it clear that Virginia is opposed to me?

I think so.  See, Virginia takes the same amount of taxes from me as they would any other person, but yet, I am not equally protected under the law.  And that's wrong.  And while I don't want my wedding to be a political statement, I may wind up spending my hard earned money in outside of Virginia simply because Virginia has proved that it is not for ALL lovers...just the straight ones.

I should however; and will, open myself up to VA venues simply because there are many businesses who support marriage equality who happen to be located in a state that doesn't.  While, I hope that Virginia wakes up soon and supports the rights of all...not just a select few, I won't hold my breath.


  1. Yes, Tammy Virginia is a 'southern' state, I guess, in attitude and history. Much more so than it's neighbors - DC and MD. I'm from MD and miss that aspect - I currently live in FL which is just as conservative, over all, as VA. Great news on MD though - looks good for them passing marriage equality in 2011. Wahoo!

  2. Hey Barb, thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    Yes, I do forget that VA is still considered a southern state because it doesn't "feel" so southern when you live in Northern Va. But, *sigh* we are still governed by the laws they crank out in Richmond :(

    I agree, it's looking good in Maryland! Hopefully more states will realize that denying gays and lesbians the right to marry (or any other right) is illogical and just plain, unfiltered discrimination.